I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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