Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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