everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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