There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
