Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
