I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My ATM looks so different sober.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
