Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
