you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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