Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
