party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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