She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
