I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
