READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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