Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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