Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
