STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
