I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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