$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize