just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
