Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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