just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Randomize
