Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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