I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
