i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
