The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
