i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
