I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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