i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
