You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
