Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
