You made me cry and you don't even care
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
