ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
