it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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