I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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