She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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