I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
