Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
