Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
