I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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