I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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