Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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