Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, beer. Big fan.
40s are totally the cure
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I love you. Go after that dick
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
