alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
