Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
