You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
