she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
