Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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