I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh god it's open bar.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
