Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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