Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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