Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
