my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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