So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
