I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
