I hope mine doesn't look like that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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