i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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