butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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