Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
