Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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